ulang tahun

I'm wondering why this day is so special?? why every body think this day have to celebrated?? n why it feels so happy that day?? Gw akuin gw ngerasa hal yang sama ketika ulang tahun. But why this time i'm not feel the same?? How can i find spesific reason?? Its feels very sad. I can't explain. I'm juz feelin alone. How can i be happier than finding someone doin something sweet right on your birthday?? Its not all about boys thing. Gw memutuskan untuk autis sendiri pas gw ultah besok. Mungkin ke bandung, then beli barang yang gw mau (apa gitar yah?? *gambling), nonton bioskop, foto box, baca komik di gramedia, pokonya doin all things yang ngga pernah gw lakuin sendirin. Bdw, gw masih inget suatu kali pas gw ultah ada someone yang berdiri ujan-ujanan diluar kosan nungguin gw keluar bawa-bawa tart n kado. He actually didn't know when i'll goin out, tau-tau pas gw keluar dia udah basah kuyup aja, bego kan, dan tuh orang udah punya anak sekarang, hah, gilalah, life is unpredictable. There's always something interesting too see. Disaat gw bete begini, olas tlp, honestly i'm not mad at him, but i feel disappointed. Gw ngga ngerti mengapa dia ngga pernah tau apa yang gw pengen, ngga pernah bener-bener tau apa yang bisa bikin seneng. Apa benar perasaan gw yang mengatakan klo dia emank hanya seorang anak kecil?? Gw harap dia segera mematahkan pemikiran gw. I've think about it this several days. I hope its not true. Yasudahlah, nothing's relly matter, and there's no way of knowing if our journey will lead us to pleasure or to pain. Happy Bithday to me!! No matter what i'm gonna passing through, i'm sure He leadeth me, thank you my lord Jesus.